Arx Hereticus

Welcome to the ramblings of a merry heretic, an ex-pat (Tex-pat?) American living in Maryland after having spent six years in Germany. Arx Hereticus is part travelogue, part cooking, part budo, part socio-political commentary and mostly just me BSing.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Hating life ...

Right now, I am. Hedgewitch and I have been making preparations for the move back to the USA (she's taken on the lion's share of the pre-packout tasks, bless her pagan little heart).

Pulled down curtains and curtain hanging paraphernalia in the kitchen, taken down photos and art, staging various pieces of the household for the packers, patching nail holes in the walls ...

The kitchen looks naked and grim. I'm in a pissy mood and am being inordinately annoyed at stubborn screws and recalcitrant hardware. Cursing like a sailor when things get balky. Wish I felt better about this, but I'm not. I hate the idea of leaving this place.

HW has been working hard to keep a cheery face on, but I'm failing miserably.

I really just want to get drunk and scream obscenities at the universe.

We're running into folks we've know since we got here, chatting up neighbors, letting them know we're gone. There's a sense of disbelief in the Germans, some of whom have family ties to this area for about 2,000 years.

"Gypsies" they call us Americans. They can't comprehend the idea of massive relocation every few years.

Me either right now. Not liking it at all. This from a guy who's never really had a home, never stayed in one place for much more than a few years, who has really never had or wanted 'roots'. That seems to be changing.

HW and I have been here not quite six years, and they've been good years. Ther've been shitty times, yeah, but all together, it's been a wonderful time and living has been good. I simply can't imagine that Frederick, MD, -- as nice as it seems to be, as near as we can tell from the Intarwebs -- is going to be as good to us as Pressath has ...


Where's the whisky?


Blogger Budo Bum said...

Dang Chuck,
I know all too well how this feels. I've done it twice when leaving Japan. I never feel that way when I leave the US.

Just know that you'll have plenty of friends waiting on this side of the pond. We'll listen to your pain and help you cry in the beer. It sucks leaving a place that really feels right, and there's nothing anyone can say that will help. Call if you need to kvetch.

I've been back in Trenton for 9 years, and Yokaichi still feels more like home than this does.


8:18 PM  
Blogger Margo said...

To cheer y'all up a bit, I'll tell you the homecoming present that I'm no longer going to get you, since you're not moving to Texas. I was going to send you a board game called Redneck Life, in which the winner is the player with the most teeth at the end.

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Home is where you and Em make it.
I know it doesn't feel that way.
And some places are more home than others.
But it will be ok...and if it isn't, well, you find a way to go back.

12:45 AM  
Anonymous hideouse said...

I can't believe your leaving Chuck. I'm a little disappointed. I'll come see you I Maryland, we can scare the locals. I'll use my six words of German and cry out to Walter to save us!-Hideouse

11:44 PM  
Blogger edge said...

He really is having a hard time. All of your weird comments, sarcasm, and other signs of support are direly needed. Thank you so much.

The more he hears from you, the more he sees friends, the more he'll feel at home.

Meanwhile, we're sure we'll see more of our German friends on the other side of the Atlantic, than we did while we were here! let's hear it for the cheap dollar.. no.. wait.. :-(

The HW, hating doing this to him..

3:26 PM  

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